This Weekends New Crap
Death Race
In the near future, prison inmates compete for their freedom in a brutal, ultraviolent auto race using heavily armed monster cars.
Hamlet 2
A high school drama teacher tries to save the drama department with an original play--a musical sequel to Shakespeare's Hamlet.
The Rocker
Rainn Wilson stars as a failed former '80s hair band drummerwho unexpectedly gets a second chance at rock n' roll glory.
The Longshots
The true story of 11-year-old quarterback Jasmine Plummer,the first female player in the history of Pop Warner football.
The House Bunny
A Playboy bunny, kicked out of Hef's mansion, finds a new jobas the housemother at the most unpopular sorority on campus.
I’ll be honest I could care less about this slop; I just copied the movie info from yahoo and put it here for you. Really if you’re planning on going to see one of these just quit reading this blog now it’s not the place for you. These films are by turds for turds and you are a turd if you pay to go see them.
The Pick Three
1.The Dark Knight- go see it
2.Tropic Thunder- see this too
3.I didn’t see any kite flying last week, how about showing up for Slap Fest 3! It will be epic.
The new fall season starts up a week from Monday on Sept. 1 with any luck I’ll have a fall preview out before then.
Don’t be a TURD.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
The Summer that was 2008
Top 5
1. The Dark Knight
2. Wall-E
3. Iron Man
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
5. Pineapple Express
Bottom 3
1. Wanted
2. Hancock
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Rest
The Incredible Hulk
Tropic Thunder
Did not See
Speed Racer
Kung Fu Panda
You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Get Smart
The Happening
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Sex and the City: The Movie
The X-Files: I Want to Believe
The Mummy 3
The Rocker
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Step Brothers
1. The Dark Knight
2. Wall-E
3. Iron Man
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
5. Pineapple Express
Bottom 3
1. Wanted
2. Hancock
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Rest
The Incredible Hulk
Tropic Thunder
Did not See
Speed Racer
Kung Fu Panda
You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Get Smart
The Happening
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Sex and the City: The Movie
The X-Files: I Want to Believe
The Mummy 3
The Rocker
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Step Brothers
August 15-17
Tropic Thunder- This movie will be the comedy of the summer. Forget about the fact the Ben Stiller and Jack Black are a combined 2 for 2 in unfunny the last few years, this one’s all about Robert Downey Jr. Everyone’s favorite cokehead in blackface! Can someone tell me why this is not controversial but never go full retard is?
Mirrors - Kiefer Sutherland is a department store security guard who becomes wrapped up in a mystery involving the store's mirrors. Fun fact they actually pitched this to the studio heads the same way. Not sure what that says about the studio heads.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Cool the pilot to the new Star Wars TV show that’s a sequel to the 2nd prequel and a prequel to the 3rd chapter in the prequel trilogy. Now I can follow that logic but can someone please tell me why the 2 hour series premier for the new Star Wars TV show is debuting in theaters and not on TV?
Vicky Cristina Barcelona - Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem become amorously entangled in the latest film from director Woody Allen. Two chicks make out and talk a lot, I can’t wait! Hold on I thought about and yes I can.
What can I say this weeks Pick Three is going to be a little different.
1. The Dark Knight – I still want you to see this.
2. Go fly a kite – See now we are starting to mix it up a little, for too long go fly a kite has been a derogatory remark as in “ Ryan you suck why don’t you go fly a kite”. But that all stops this weekend I would like all of the disciples of the entertained to go out there and fly one for America. We may never get the rainbow back but today we take back kite flying from those who suck. * Disclaimer * The use of the character “Ryan” and his sucky-ness has nothing to with rainbows.
3. Quit watching the Astros, we can ill afford for one of you to turn on the TV and break someone else’s bones.
I leave you with the piece of advice, if you one day decide to garner cheap accolades for your acting skills by playing a “mentally handicapped” person, remember never go full retard.
Mirrors - Kiefer Sutherland is a department store security guard who becomes wrapped up in a mystery involving the store's mirrors. Fun fact they actually pitched this to the studio heads the same way. Not sure what that says about the studio heads.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Cool the pilot to the new Star Wars TV show that’s a sequel to the 2nd prequel and a prequel to the 3rd chapter in the prequel trilogy. Now I can follow that logic but can someone please tell me why the 2 hour series premier for the new Star Wars TV show is debuting in theaters and not on TV?
Vicky Cristina Barcelona - Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem become amorously entangled in the latest film from director Woody Allen. Two chicks make out and talk a lot, I can’t wait! Hold on I thought about and yes I can.
What can I say this weeks Pick Three is going to be a little different.
1. The Dark Knight – I still want you to see this.
2. Go fly a kite – See now we are starting to mix it up a little, for too long go fly a kite has been a derogatory remark as in “ Ryan you suck why don’t you go fly a kite”. But that all stops this weekend I would like all of the disciples of the entertained to go out there and fly one for America. We may never get the rainbow back but today we take back kite flying from those who suck. * Disclaimer * The use of the character “Ryan” and his sucky-ness has nothing to with rainbows.
3. Quit watching the Astros, we can ill afford for one of you to turn on the TV and break someone else’s bones.
I leave you with the piece of advice, if you one day decide to garner cheap accolades for your acting skills by playing a “mentally handicapped” person, remember never go full retard.
Monday, August 11, 2008
New Fall Season is Upon Us
Monday, August 25
9:00-10:00 PM - AMERICA'S TOUGHEST JOBS (series premiere) (NBC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Deal or No Deal (NBC)
Monday, September 1
8:00-9:00 PM - Gossip Girl (The CW)
9:00-10:00 PM - One Tree Hill (The CW)
10:00-11:00 PM - Raising The Bar (TNT)
Tuesday, September 2
8:00-10:00 PM - 90210 (Two-Hour Premiere) (The CW)
10:00-11:00 PM - The Shield (FX) *
Wednesday, September 3
8:00-10:00 PM - America’s Next Top Model (Two-Hour Premiere) (The CW)
10:00 PM - SONS OF ANARCHY (FX)
Sunday, September 7
10:00-10:30 PM Entourage (HBO)*
Tuesday, September 9
9:00-10:00 PM - PRIVILEGED (series premiere) (The CW)*
Tuesday, September 16
8:00-10:00 PM - The Biggest Loser: Families (NBC)
Thursday, September 18
8:00-9:00 PM - Smallville (The CW)*
8:00-9:00 PM - Survivor (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Supernatural (The CW)
10:00-10:30 PM It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)
Friday, September 19
10:00-11:00 PM - 20/20 (ABC)
Monday, September 22
8:00-10:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars (special two-hour performance show premiere) (ABC)
8:00-8:30 PM - The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:30-9:00 PM - How I Met Your Mother (CBS) *
9:00-11:00 PM - Heroes (NBC)*
9:00-9:30 PM - Two and a Half Men (CBS)
9:30-10:00 PM - WORST WEEK (series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - CSI: Miami (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Boston Legal (ABC)
Tuesday, September 23
8:00-9:00 PM - NCIS (CBS)
8:00-9:00 PM - OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (series premiere) (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - THE MENTALIST (series premiere) (CBS)
9:00-11:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars (special performance show) (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - Without A Trace (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC)
Wednesday, September 24
8:00-9:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars Results Show Special (special day and time) (ABC)
8:00-8:30 PM - The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
8:30-9:00 PM - PROJECT GARY (series premiere) (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Criminal Minds (CBS)
9:00-11:00 p.m. David Blaine Special (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - KNIGHT RIDER (NBC) *
10:00-11:00 PM - Lipstick Jungle (NBC)
10:00-11:00 PM - CSI: NY (CBS)
Thursday, September 25
8:00-9:00 PM - Ugly Betty (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - My Name Is Earl (NBC)*
9:00-10:00 PM - The Office (NBC)*
9:00-11:00 PM - Grey's Anatomy (special two-hour season premiere) (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - ER (NBC)
Saturday, September 27
8:00-9:00 PM Crimetime Saturday (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM Crimetime Saturday (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - 48 Hours Mystery (CBS)
Sunday, September 28
7:00-9:00 PM - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC)
7:00-8:00 PM - 60 MINUTES (CBS)
8:00-9:00 PM - The Amazing Race (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Cold Case (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Desperate Housewives (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - Dexter (Showtime)*
10:00-11:00 PM - Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - The Unit (CBS)
Monday, September 29
8:00-9:00 PM - Chuck (NBC) *
10:00-11:00 PM - Life (NBC)
Wednesday, October 1
8:00-9:00 PM - Pushing Daisies (ABC)*
9:00-10:00 PM - Private Practice (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - Dirty Sexy Money (ABC)
Friday Night Lights on DirecTV's Channel 101.
Friday, October 3
8:00-9:00 PM - Wife Swap (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Ghost Whisperer (CBS)
8:00-8:30 PM - Everybody Hates Chris (The CW)
8:30-9:00 PM - The Game (The CW)
9:00-10:00 PM - THE EX LIST (series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Numb3rs (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Supernanny (ABC)
Sunday, October 5
7:00-8:00 PM - America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (regular time period premiere) (ABC)
Monday, October 6
9:30-10:00 PM - Samantha Who? (ABC)
Thursday, October 9
8:30-9:00 PM - KATH & KIM (series premiere) (NBC)
9:00-10:00 PM - Grey's Anatomy (regular time period premiere) (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - ELEVENTH HOUR(series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - LIFE ON MARS (series premiere) (ABC)
Monday, October 13
10:00-11:00 PM - MY OWN WORST ENEMY (series premiere) (NBC)
Tuesday, October 14
10:00-11:00 PM - Eli Stone (ABC)
Friday, October 17
8:00-10:00 PM - CRUSOE (series premiere) (NBC)*
10:00-11:00 PM - Crash (Starz)
Thursday, October 30
9:30-10:00 PM - 30 Rock (NBC)*
Scrubs moves to (ABC) TBA
Lost (ABC) will be back around the Superbowl.
24 (Fox) back in January, TV Movie in November.
* I will be Tivo-ing
9:00-10:00 PM - AMERICA'S TOUGHEST JOBS (series premiere) (NBC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Deal or No Deal (NBC)
Monday, September 1
8:00-9:00 PM - Gossip Girl (The CW)
9:00-10:00 PM - One Tree Hill (The CW)
10:00-11:00 PM - Raising The Bar (TNT)
Tuesday, September 2
8:00-10:00 PM - 90210 (Two-Hour Premiere) (The CW)
10:00-11:00 PM - The Shield (FX) *
Wednesday, September 3
8:00-10:00 PM - America’s Next Top Model (Two-Hour Premiere) (The CW)
10:00 PM - SONS OF ANARCHY (FX)
Sunday, September 7
10:00-10:30 PM Entourage (HBO)*
Tuesday, September 9
9:00-10:00 PM - PRIVILEGED (series premiere) (The CW)*
Tuesday, September 16
8:00-10:00 PM - The Biggest Loser: Families (NBC)
Thursday, September 18
8:00-9:00 PM - Smallville (The CW)*
8:00-9:00 PM - Survivor (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Supernatural (The CW)
10:00-10:30 PM It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)
Friday, September 19
10:00-11:00 PM - 20/20 (ABC)
Monday, September 22
8:00-10:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars (special two-hour performance show premiere) (ABC)
8:00-8:30 PM - The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:30-9:00 PM - How I Met Your Mother (CBS) *
9:00-11:00 PM - Heroes (NBC)*
9:00-9:30 PM - Two and a Half Men (CBS)
9:30-10:00 PM - WORST WEEK (series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - CSI: Miami (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Boston Legal (ABC)
Tuesday, September 23
8:00-9:00 PM - NCIS (CBS)
8:00-9:00 PM - OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (series premiere) (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - THE MENTALIST (series premiere) (CBS)
9:00-11:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars (special performance show) (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - Without A Trace (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC)
Wednesday, September 24
8:00-9:00 PM - Dancing with the Stars Results Show Special (special day and time) (ABC)
8:00-8:30 PM - The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
8:30-9:00 PM - PROJECT GARY (series premiere) (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Criminal Minds (CBS)
9:00-11:00 p.m. David Blaine Special (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - KNIGHT RIDER (NBC) *
10:00-11:00 PM - Lipstick Jungle (NBC)
10:00-11:00 PM - CSI: NY (CBS)
Thursday, September 25
8:00-9:00 PM - Ugly Betty (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - My Name Is Earl (NBC)*
9:00-10:00 PM - The Office (NBC)*
9:00-11:00 PM - Grey's Anatomy (special two-hour season premiere) (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - ER (NBC)
Saturday, September 27
8:00-9:00 PM Crimetime Saturday (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM Crimetime Saturday (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - 48 Hours Mystery (CBS)
Sunday, September 28
7:00-9:00 PM - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC)
7:00-8:00 PM - 60 MINUTES (CBS)
8:00-9:00 PM - The Amazing Race (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Cold Case (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Desperate Housewives (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - Dexter (Showtime)*
10:00-11:00 PM - Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - The Unit (CBS)
Monday, September 29
8:00-9:00 PM - Chuck (NBC) *
10:00-11:00 PM - Life (NBC)
Wednesday, October 1
8:00-9:00 PM - Pushing Daisies (ABC)*
9:00-10:00 PM - Private Practice (ABC)
10:00-11:00 PM - Dirty Sexy Money (ABC)
Friday Night Lights on DirecTV's Channel 101.
Friday, October 3
8:00-9:00 PM - Wife Swap (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Ghost Whisperer (CBS)
8:00-8:30 PM - Everybody Hates Chris (The CW)
8:30-9:00 PM - The Game (The CW)
9:00-10:00 PM - THE EX LIST (series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - Numb3rs (CBS)
9:00-10:00 PM - Supernanny (ABC)
Sunday, October 5
7:00-8:00 PM - America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC)
8:00-9:00 PM - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (regular time period premiere) (ABC)
Monday, October 6
9:30-10:00 PM - Samantha Who? (ABC)
Thursday, October 9
8:30-9:00 PM - KATH & KIM (series premiere) (NBC)
9:00-10:00 PM - Grey's Anatomy (regular time period premiere) (ABC)
9:00-10:00 PM - CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - ELEVENTH HOUR(series premiere) (CBS)
10:00-11:00 PM - LIFE ON MARS (series premiere) (ABC)
Monday, October 13
10:00-11:00 PM - MY OWN WORST ENEMY (series premiere) (NBC)
Tuesday, October 14
10:00-11:00 PM - Eli Stone (ABC)
Friday, October 17
8:00-10:00 PM - CRUSOE (series premiere) (NBC)*
10:00-11:00 PM - Crash (Starz)
Thursday, October 30
9:30-10:00 PM - 30 Rock (NBC)*
Scrubs moves to (ABC) TBA
Lost (ABC) will be back around the Superbowl.
24 (Fox) back in January, TV Movie in November.
* I will be Tivo-ing
Friday, August 8, 2008
August 8-10
First let me say that this blog and its contributors can not / will not be bothered by such miniscule details as spelling and punctuation. With that said on to this week’s picks.
Pineapple Express – A Stoner Action Flick… Just go see it.
The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2- Really did we need a sequel. This time around the girls and their magic blue jeans go to Europe. Should be better than Euro Trip? Skip it unless you’ve dreamed of sharing jeans with your friends but couldn’t because you where too fat, in which case soak it up this ones for you.
Three to see this weekend
1.Pineapple Express – It has the black guy from the office, not the fat one but the other one. Enough Said.
2.The Dark Night- I think people may be missing out on its greatness, go see it again.
3.Last week I threw out Harold and Kumar as a suggestion and you’re welcome. What a surprise treat that was. This week let’s just watch the Astros take care of business in Cincinnati. We need 35 more wins to get to 90 on the season and as long as we don’t lose anymore we have a chance.
Until next week…
Pineapple Express – A Stoner Action Flick… Just go see it.
The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2- Really did we need a sequel. This time around the girls and their magic blue jeans go to Europe. Should be better than Euro Trip? Skip it unless you’ve dreamed of sharing jeans with your friends but couldn’t because you where too fat, in which case soak it up this ones for you.
Three to see this weekend
1.Pineapple Express – It has the black guy from the office, not the fat one but the other one. Enough Said.
2.The Dark Night- I think people may be missing out on its greatness, go see it again.
3.Last week I threw out Harold and Kumar as a suggestion and you’re welcome. What a surprise treat that was. This week let’s just watch the Astros take care of business in Cincinnati. We need 35 more wins to get to 90 on the season and as long as we don’t lose anymore we have a chance.
Until next week…
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